Cheater or Not?
Is he or is he not a cheater? What about her? The number one reason that couples get divorced is when one or both partners cheat on each other. When this happens, it becomes hard for the people in a marriage to trust each other. While it does not mean that a marriage will end, living with a cheater does mean that the relationship will change. There are times when a spouse is being unfaithful and the other person in the relationship is clueless about the cheater or the illicit relationship. They might think that something is wrong, but how do they know if their spouse is a cheater?
It is not always easy to know if a spouse is being unfaithful. You can’t come out and call the person a cheater. It is important that a person is sure that their spouse is a cheater if they want to deal with it. If they accuse a spouse and are wrong about it, they can damage the relationship in many ways.
The easiest way to know if a spouse is a cheater by catching the cheater in the act! This is evidence that is irrefutable. A spouse might get this evidence on their own by walking in on something or they can hire a professional to get the evidence for them. Private investigators can be hired to follow a suspected cheater spouse discreetly and to see if they are telling the truth about how they are spending their time. This method can be expensive. It can also hurt a spouse who is not cheating.
When do You Suspect a Cheater?
There are many changes in a person’s behavior that will happen if they are cheating. If a spouse is suddenly working many late hours, it could be a sign. A person who is paid hourly will have a record of any extra hours they are working, but this is not true for everyone. If the spouse is saying they are working longer, look for proof of this. The proof can come from a variety of sources that include actual work that is done or phone calls to the workplace to check on the spouse. These things can be looked at discreetly without a person knowing.
A cheater will also leave a financial trail. It is difficult to cheat on a spouse without spending money. A cheater will buy meals, gifts, and pay for hotel rooms to support cheater ways. Going over financial records could provide a person with some of the evidence they need to prove that a spouse is in fact a cheater.
Technology has changed a lot and people can use it to help them discover if their spouse is cheating. Cell phone records and email correspondence will help a person track the communications that their spouse has. Security cameras in a home can not only keep the home safe, they can be used to discover other illicit activities that are going on. If a person wants to find evidence that their spouse is cheating they need to embrace the available technology. Catching a cheater is not as “glamorous” as it looks on television.
Gathering facts about a cheater can be dangerous. If a person is thinking with their emotions they can draw conclusions about their spouse that are not correct. Just because a person finds out that their spouse is not being completely honest about the way they work or the way they spend money, does not mean that he is a cheater. When a person is hurt or angry because they think their spouse is cheating, they can come to conclusions that are not true. Instead of acting on their emotions they should seek the help of a professional to help them sort through the real truth.
The private investigator might be one professional to turn to, but they are not the only ones. Marriage counselors might be able to help with discovery more than a private investigator does. If a person suspects that their spouse is a cheater, they will not be able to trust their spouse. They will question everything their spouse is doing. They will find it difficult to communicate with their spouse because of the lack of trust. Instead of the couple crawling into a shell, the counselor can help a couple get through their issues of trust and talk about what is important to their marriage.
It is possible that a counselor will be able to get a spouse to admit to being a cheater. They also might be able to show a spouse that their fears of their partner being unfaithful are unfounded. If a person suspects their spouse is cheating they do not have a healthy marriage. If the suspicions are true a couple must decide whether they want to stay together or not. If the suspicions are not true they need to decide why they have the problems of trust that they have and how they can fix them to make their marriage better. If a cheater doesn’t want to come clean, then there are very few option left on the table.